Who is “The Traffic”?

People who drive and then turn up late often blame it on “The Traffic.” As if “The Traffic” was some kind of cosmic phenomenon which had nothing to do with them. A more honest description would be “I’m late because there were so many people, like me, in their cars, jamming up the roads.” I am always tempted, and sometimes do reply, “Actually, you are The Traffic.” I spotted this ad for a GPS device on a billboard on Brighton’s traffic-clogged Lewes Road. It’s an attempt to plug a fantasy: that you can avoid “The Traffic.” No matter what the adverts say, just remember this: if you’re on four wheels, The Traffic Is You.